Post by Shayrah on Jun 4, 2007 0:24:19 GMT -5
"Your brain naturally has no problem going from A to G to Z to F. ...But I feel like you try too hard and freak out, going 'A goes to B, which needs to go to C, and then followed by D... OH MY GOD!! Who moved D?!?"
~My counselor, accurately picking apart my brain
-----------
If you ever want to see a creature that is truly annoyed, go watch a hunting blue heron that is next to a wildly splashing bathing duck. I thought the critter was going to get an ice-pick beak through the brain... .o.o
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Jane: I swear, the little baby had to be only five minutes old! It was so adorable.
Steve: That's disgusting.
Jane: No really! She was all purple and delicate...
Steve: Ugh! Do you know where that's been??
------------------
Jane: "Speaking of 4th grade humor..."
Shannon: "Hey. It was looking at you and saying "hi Jane!"
Jane: "Yeah...that's always what I've wanted a bananna in a cup to say to me."
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LostBlueHeights: lol...so far every one of these green ones have tasted differently
LostBlueHeights: I've gotten watermelon, lime, apple, and pear
the myth within: silly beans of same color and different flavor
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"Hey! Who wavied my belt?!"
~Shannon, upon finding her belt mysteriously wavy
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"And then we have the word 'fuck.' What's wrong with it? It's not the meaning. On tv you can say copulation, fornication, rape, make love. You can have sex, but you can't fuck. Why not?"
~My sweet nerdy little cognitive science teacher proving some point about linguistics, which was mostly lost on us because we couldn't get past what she was saying...
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Jed The Malk: get it...
Jed The Malk: c'mon, im funny
LostBlueHeights: I dont get it
LostBlueHeights: oh...
Jed The Malk: ding!
LostBlueHeights: sorry, I was thinking along the lines of humor. ...my mistake.
Jed The Malk: it was my fault also, i didnt speak in bitch
----------------------
"It snowed like blankets."
~Shannon, 3:43am - trying to describe the weather outside
----------------------
"Hey you, get off of my blintz!"
~Shannon, ethnic food day
----------------------
"Did you just call my boots a couple of bastards??..."
~Shannon
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"(singing) You don't really want to hurt me....you don't really want to--- Ow!"
~J, finding out Shannon's true feelings
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"Friggin...buggers...bun...jumbies!"
~Jane, upon finding that she had to go clean out her contact case.
---------------------
Here, listen to a story.
I'm on the phone and my CA knocks on the door for a room inspection. She's with Erin-- a funny and obnoxious neighbor of mine. I open the door and Erin comes in, and locks the CA out of my own room! I was shouting, while on the phone mind you, begging her not to give me an F for this. When Erin finally let her in, I asked if she graded on a curve and she said no. I think I'm in trouble. o.o!
-----------------------
Guess who almost walked out of the cafeteria with their tray of food and dirty dishes because they were spacing out and thinking about their next class, and were caught by the lunch ladies...
Oh yeah.
That's right.
...Me.
---------------------
Shannon: Aaaaaah!!
Jane: What's the matter??
Shannon: ...too much caffiene
-----------------------
Shannon: Did Jen say anything yet? *not looking at her computer*
Steve: Yeah, she made the face with the little rabbity eyes. --->(^-^)
Shannon: What?? Rabbity eyes?
Steve: Yeah, aren't those things called "carats?"
------------------------
"Why is my cell phone talking!!"
~Mom, after hearing scary loud noises coming from her phone in the other room
------------------------
sunneshine1984: ...wheel throwing?
LostBlueHeights: wheel throwing...everyone knows what that is
sunneshine1984: i know what a pottery wheel is
sunneshine1984: but why do you gotta throw the clay on the wheel?
LostBlueHeights: o.o
sunneshine1984: can't you just set it on?
sunneshine1984: and like...squish it down?
--------------------------
"I've never seen anyone get it to go that way before..."
~Charles, watching Roxy slam a pushup popsicle into the table
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Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.
~Noam Chomsky, 1957
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Professor Birner, while writing on board: A hyponym of 'flower' might be rose...or tulip...or chrysanthemum...ugh, I really should have chosen a shorter flower.
Professor Benardo: That's why your marker doesn't work anymore.
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Jed The Malk: cold
LostBlueHeights: aww...*warms you*
Jed The Malk: ...i want you
LostBlueHeights: lol
Jed The Malk: ...once my testicles drop again that is
LostBlueHeights: LOL
Jed The Malk: its so cold out there I may have, for a moment, had ovaries
-----------------------------
Jen: You could email your writing to me.
Shannon: Emailing is just such a pain in the ass.
Jen: If you desperately want to, you could post it on LJ in a private post between just you and me. But that means setting up custom friends groups and that's a nuisance too. If you go to livejournal and click on the Manage Friends link there's an option called "Edit Custom Friends Groups"...
Shannon: I'll just email it. You've convinced me. What better way is there to get me to do something, than to offer a more complicated option?
---------------------------
"Spring is supposed to be a time of joy, happiness, jubilation, rebirth--...oh look! A condom!"
~Jane, babbling to herself
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"Oh crap, I forgot to send...*gasp* I think I just said crap. Oh sugar, I forgot to send..."
~Professor Kroll, the funniest teacher evar!
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"Oh, that reminds me. I just heard of somebody who was crazy. Oh no, wait...no I didn't."
~Kari, answering her own question. ...Or something.
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"I'm sorry, I don't like dangling things."
~Mom, after throwing away a broken mozzarella stick
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"No" is alright. "Site your source" makes me want to throw you through a window.
~Shannon, on debating
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"It is the task of all those who work with alphabets to enhance our environment with beautiful lettering. Letters should not merely be a necessary evil which daily offends our eyes. They should not only serve but also delight. This requires a clear, consistent, perfect letter in excellent, well balanced applications."
---Actual reading for my Design class.
Speaking of that, guess what I'm being tested on right now? Leave me a message and wish me luck. >.<
--------------------------
Jane: I hate being alive!....But I love being a drama queen.
Shannon: Coulda fooled me.
--------------------------
Disney causes brain damage.
Speaking of pain, guess what Jane put in my CD player and it wouldn't play?
-------------------------
"Yeah, I like dissenters, so what? Ferrets are dissenters. They take what everyone says about spines and fighting, and go against them."
~Steve, making...logic? Somehow?
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Shannon: What is your favorite color, and why?
Jesse: My first favorite is green and then it is orange, now excuse me while I slam my head into the door hinge.
~After Jesse lost a game of poker and was forced to speak in rhyme for the rest of the night.
-----------------------
An abridged version of why I'm afraid to go to sleep sometimes:
I went through this virtual reality thing and this girl who hated me was messing with my body, but I saw Steve sneaking around and I said "Steve! You have to go out and save my body!" But he told me to be quiet because he was supposed to be an NPC. I then watched this thing on TV where it was talking about current most popular black comedians, and Bugs Bunny was on there because of his subtle jokes about George Bush...who doesn't wear socks. I then remembered that I've dreamt about Bugs Bunny and George Bush before (which I actually haven't) and then Bugs Bunny proceeded to turn into a little black slave girl with her family on a plantation. Needless to say, I was dazed and bewildered when I woke up.
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"Her letter was badly written. I swear, if that woman really does have a PhD she must have gotten it from...y'know...like....Bonko's school of.....knitting...or something!"
~Jane, about her grandfather's beloved girlfriend
------------------------
"I could make several, inappropriate bible jokes, but I'm going to settle for looking at e-cards"
~Jen
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Best sentence ever!
(found in Jane's English book)
"Lastly, to go no further that this supreme place (language being system and the aim of the movement being, romantically, a direct subversion of codes--itself moreover illusory: a code cannot be destryoed, only 'played off'), contributed to the desacrilization of the image of the Author by ceaselessly recommending the abrupt disapointment of expectations of meaning (the famous surrealist 'jolt'), by entrusting the hand with the task of writing as quickly possible what the head itself is unaware of (automatic writing), by accepting the principle and the experience of several people writing together."
---------------------------
"You made me wash off my apple because of pesticides, but you're going to eat Mary's eraser??"
~Dinner conversation in the Fine Arts dorm.
---------------------------
A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said: "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral.... I'm a gynecologist."
And then, that's when the proctologist fainted.
---------------------------
"Anyone up for some Kentucky Fried Gaea?"
~Shannon
I'm here, napping or something, so IM me. ^-^
-----------------------------
"You should just glue some moss over the hole and call it a gill or something."
~Audrey, trying to help with a broken ceramics project
------------------------------
No matter how many times you call her "What's her face", you will always remember the name of every girl that has ever dated any of your boyfriends.
------------------------------
LostBlueHeights: What does the government know, anyway?
DrgnMage13: where you live
------------------------------
"Once again, nose grease is the answer!"
~Prof. Liccardo, on easy answers to scratched negatives
------------------------------
Shannon: Smell these leaves.
Steve: *chokes*
Shannon: What's the matter? They smell nice.
Steve: They're green. I don't like green.
Shannon: Ok....what if I paint them?
Steve: No! Then they're dubious green.
------------------------------
Shannon: "I used some of the prettiest pinks in this part of the picture..."
Jane: "Was that just YOU who said that??"
Shannon: "...I'm drawing guts!"
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Shannon: I found this little hairband on my desk--...
Steve: Hair band?!? Like, Poison??
------------------------------
LostBlueHeights: I was so angry that I poked my fingers through a syrafoam cup on accident, because there were too many people around in the cafeteria
LostBlueHeights: I found that when I'm surrounded by that many people, I get filled with unbridled hatred
LostBlueHeights: like really
LostBlueHeights: I get all agitated and angry and hate-filled, and I considered going back upstairs
Golden Eyes1: ...::is glad she's only one person::
------------------------------
"...My brain itches."
~Mom, while trying to watch Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
--------------------------------
Steve: What's porridge made out of?
Shannon: What?? I dunno...why?
Steve: Cuz that seemed to be a question that you would know and laugh at me for not knowing.
Shannon: Pfft...I have no idea! Maybe it's something like grits, or oatmeal, or hominy or something.
Steve: What's hominy?
Shannon: You don't know what hominy is??
Steve: See?!
--------------------------------
Jane: Teena says I should loosen my printer cord or break my computer so I can call him up and have him come over to fix it.
Shannon: Y'know...I think lonely housewives do that.
-------------------------------
"I think I'm gonna get a boob job and rely on looks to get me through life..."
~ J, after doing something dumb
-------------------------------
"Take your time, school does take a priority over jellyfish."
~A friend thankfully reassuring me that she was temporarily relieving me of my jellyfish duties.
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"Well you know how it goes...y'know when you add A to B...shit happens."
~Joey C's words of wisdom
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"Like a brunette ken doll, but without the anger and tantrum."
~Joey C., talking about who-knows-what
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"Thank you for turning "Amish" into a verb...thank you."
~Shannon to Joey C after hearing how he was Amished.
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What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
....A Roamin' Catholic!
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Joey C: Whoa! Look at that guy! He's so small!
Kevin: Joe...that's a kid.
------------------------------------
Randy: Kill Steve...
Me: With food?
Randy: With Dance!
-----------------------------------
"I want to go home...I was on the phone with my husband, and I heard my little daughter in the background say 'oh look, there's a picture of Mommy!...Remember her?"
~Prof. Martin, realizing how much time she spends away from home.
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"What was I just saying?? Ugh, rubbing my kiwis is so distracting."
~Shannon, rubbing her kiwis, obviously
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Mom: The majority of the ladybugs are on your ceiling huddling together to keep warm or something.
Shannon: On my ceiling?? Bunching together??
Mom: Yes. Bunching. They are a herding insect aren't they?
-----------------------------------
"Like still-wiggling sticky leather."
~Mary, and her thoughts on stitching up people
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"Ok everybody, here's the plan. We're gonna all get up and head to the shower? Sounds great, right? Now we're all gonna work nicely together...especially you, left calf. I know you're not feeling well, but you're gonna have to keep up with the team. Ok, ready? On the count of three. One...two...shut up legs! Yes, you're going to have to do most of the work, but we're counting on you!"
~Jane, convincing her body to get her to the showers.
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Ca ayoe guess which key o my keyboard doest work aymore? Is't this great? Of course, it *had* to be right before atioal ovel writer's moth. I eed to write 50,000 words of a ovel this ovember. What am I goa do?! My typig souds like it has a cold or somethig. ...Dam it.
------------------------------------
"Now we come to your favorite linguist, Chomsky. ...Actually, I'm your favorite linguist, because you all know what's good for you."
~Professor Birner
-----------------------------------
Jane: So, does a guy letting a girl put lipstick on him mean the guy's gay?
Jesse: No...it means he's trying to get laid.
Jane: ....Oh.
And now I know why Halloween is the Olivetian's favorite holiday.
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Tym Artist: lol = laughing on the inside
Tym Artist: rofl = smirk
Tym Artist: ROFL or hahahahahaha = laughing out loud
----------------------------------------
Shannon: Man...look at my zip disk box.
Steve: Looks like its been loved.
Shannon: ...More like hated.
Steve: No...I meant the prison kind of love.
----------------------------------------
"Aw, c'mon. You know you'd laugh if I got my finger stuck to the door with an industrial-strength magnet."
~Shannon, trying to put Jane in her shoes
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"I just accused six or seven different guys of grabbing my balls!!"
...This is why Mark is not allowed to have multiple energy drinks before going into public anymore.
-----------------------------------------
Jane: Either that or I can find some other ma-jigger for you.
Shannon: I like ma-jiggers.
Jane: Ma-jigger it is!
-----------------------------------------
Steve: Ugh, looks like someone was murdered.
Shannon: Gross.
Steve: Probably discrimination against those who have marinara sauce for blood.
~Witnessing the aftermath of a violent food crime in the elevator
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Shannon: I have several hours of matting ahead of me, or if I use the correct art terminology: several hours of "mounting."
Steve: Please do not put the words "mounting" and "Matt" in the same sentence ever again.
---------------------------------------
"That was a Mexican hat dance of giggles."
~Steve, using his descriptive vocabulary well
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"You'd think that Mick would start not believing me that I truly am sorry, after having the stapler fall on him from my desk 4 times, while he is on his bean bag chair trying to sleep."
~Mom, after dropping the stapler on the dog, again
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"You don't like milk? ...But...milk makes chocolate milk!"
~Don
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LostBlueHeights: Im shakin my minipalms
Golden Eyes1: hehe...you shouldn't say that too loud...Steve might get jealous
LostBlueHeights: yeah, he wants me to shake *his* minipalm
Golden Eyes1: lol...he'll just have to shake his own minipalm
~Thank you, Psypets. ^-^
-------------------------------------
Shannon: Man, moving hurts.
Jane: Yeah, I've heard that it can kill you. Moving, that is.
Shannon: *Laughs*
Jane: No seriously...the majority of people who have died were moving.
I'm at Steve's if anyone needs to call me. I'm hiding.
---------------------------------------
"Zeus punished man in another way also, by creating an evil thing, woman, as the price of fire...And wonder took hold of the deathless gods and mortal men when they saw that which was sheer guile, not to be withstood by men. For from her is the deadly race and tribe of women who live amongst mortal men to their great trouble."
-Ovid
Gotta love mythology class....
----------------------------------------
"Claws are nails with superpowers."
~Jane
----------------------------------------
Why is everyone in college named Dan, Matt, or Brian?
-----------------------------------------
"He nodded wearily and let his eyes close again, draping a firearm over them lazily."
~A recent NaNanoism of mine, as Desher apparetly sets a rifle across his face. Mmmm, comfy.
(For those of you who don't know, NaNoisms are typoes or poorly written sentences that occur when flying through writing a NaNoWriMo novel. In this case, 'firearm' was definitely supposed to be 'forearm.' >.<)
-------------------------------------------
LostBlueHeights: I wish I could...like...eat naps
Golden Eyes1: hmm...what would that taste like? o.O?
LostBlueHeights: Doesnt matter. You'd be too rested to care
---------------------------------------------
"I am madly in love with C.S. Lewis and Weta Workshop, and almost wish I was Mormon so I could marry them both."
~Jen's reaction to seeing Narnia
---------------------------------------------
"I'm so mad, I'm throwing ocelots!"
-Shannon's reaction to her key being stolen
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"No, I'm right! I just proved that if Steve's a people, then that's an octopus!"
~Shannon, using convoluted logic to prove that a starfish is an octopus
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Shannon: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Steve: If you weren't so cute when I hurt you, it wouldn't happen as often.
---------------------------------------------
"Paul McCartney has bare feet!"
~One of the guys, dead serious, while at American English
-------------------------------------------
~My counselor, accurately picking apart my brain
-----------
If you ever want to see a creature that is truly annoyed, go watch a hunting blue heron that is next to a wildly splashing bathing duck. I thought the critter was going to get an ice-pick beak through the brain... .o.o
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Jane: I swear, the little baby had to be only five minutes old! It was so adorable.
Steve: That's disgusting.
Jane: No really! She was all purple and delicate...
Steve: Ugh! Do you know where that's been??
------------------
Jane: "Speaking of 4th grade humor..."
Shannon: "Hey. It was looking at you and saying "hi Jane!"
Jane: "Yeah...that's always what I've wanted a bananna in a cup to say to me."
------------------
LostBlueHeights: lol...so far every one of these green ones have tasted differently
LostBlueHeights: I've gotten watermelon, lime, apple, and pear
the myth within: silly beans of same color and different flavor
------------------
"Hey! Who wavied my belt?!"
~Shannon, upon finding her belt mysteriously wavy
--------------------
"And then we have the word 'fuck.' What's wrong with it? It's not the meaning. On tv you can say copulation, fornication, rape, make love. You can have sex, but you can't fuck. Why not?"
~My sweet nerdy little cognitive science teacher proving some point about linguistics, which was mostly lost on us because we couldn't get past what she was saying...
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Jed The Malk: get it...
Jed The Malk: c'mon, im funny
LostBlueHeights: I dont get it
LostBlueHeights: oh...
Jed The Malk: ding!
LostBlueHeights: sorry, I was thinking along the lines of humor. ...my mistake.
Jed The Malk: it was my fault also, i didnt speak in bitch
----------------------
"It snowed like blankets."
~Shannon, 3:43am - trying to describe the weather outside
----------------------
"Hey you, get off of my blintz!"
~Shannon, ethnic food day
----------------------
"Did you just call my boots a couple of bastards??..."
~Shannon
---------------------
"(singing) You don't really want to hurt me....you don't really want to--- Ow!"
~J, finding out Shannon's true feelings
---------------------
"Friggin...buggers...bun...jumbies!"
~Jane, upon finding that she had to go clean out her contact case.
---------------------
Here, listen to a story.
I'm on the phone and my CA knocks on the door for a room inspection. She's with Erin-- a funny and obnoxious neighbor of mine. I open the door and Erin comes in, and locks the CA out of my own room! I was shouting, while on the phone mind you, begging her not to give me an F for this. When Erin finally let her in, I asked if she graded on a curve and she said no. I think I'm in trouble. o.o!
-----------------------
Guess who almost walked out of the cafeteria with their tray of food and dirty dishes because they were spacing out and thinking about their next class, and were caught by the lunch ladies...
Oh yeah.
That's right.
...Me.
---------------------
Shannon: Aaaaaah!!
Jane: What's the matter??
Shannon: ...too much caffiene
-----------------------
Shannon: Did Jen say anything yet? *not looking at her computer*
Steve: Yeah, she made the face with the little rabbity eyes. --->(^-^)
Shannon: What?? Rabbity eyes?
Steve: Yeah, aren't those things called "carats?"
------------------------
"Why is my cell phone talking!!"
~Mom, after hearing scary loud noises coming from her phone in the other room
------------------------
sunneshine1984: ...wheel throwing?
LostBlueHeights: wheel throwing...everyone knows what that is
sunneshine1984: i know what a pottery wheel is
sunneshine1984: but why do you gotta throw the clay on the wheel?
LostBlueHeights: o.o
sunneshine1984: can't you just set it on?
sunneshine1984: and like...squish it down?
--------------------------
"I've never seen anyone get it to go that way before..."
~Charles, watching Roxy slam a pushup popsicle into the table
------------------------
Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.
~Noam Chomsky, 1957
------------------------
Professor Birner, while writing on board: A hyponym of 'flower' might be rose...or tulip...or chrysanthemum...ugh, I really should have chosen a shorter flower.
Professor Benardo: That's why your marker doesn't work anymore.
---------------------------
Jed The Malk: cold
LostBlueHeights: aww...*warms you*
Jed The Malk: ...i want you
LostBlueHeights: lol
Jed The Malk: ...once my testicles drop again that is
LostBlueHeights: LOL
Jed The Malk: its so cold out there I may have, for a moment, had ovaries
-----------------------------
Jen: You could email your writing to me.
Shannon: Emailing is just such a pain in the ass.
Jen: If you desperately want to, you could post it on LJ in a private post between just you and me. But that means setting up custom friends groups and that's a nuisance too. If you go to livejournal and click on the Manage Friends link there's an option called "Edit Custom Friends Groups"...
Shannon: I'll just email it. You've convinced me. What better way is there to get me to do something, than to offer a more complicated option?
---------------------------
"Spring is supposed to be a time of joy, happiness, jubilation, rebirth--...oh look! A condom!"
~Jane, babbling to herself
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"Oh crap, I forgot to send...*gasp* I think I just said crap. Oh sugar, I forgot to send..."
~Professor Kroll, the funniest teacher evar!
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"Oh, that reminds me. I just heard of somebody who was crazy. Oh no, wait...no I didn't."
~Kari, answering her own question. ...Or something.
--------------------------
"I'm sorry, I don't like dangling things."
~Mom, after throwing away a broken mozzarella stick
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"No" is alright. "Site your source" makes me want to throw you through a window.
~Shannon, on debating
---------------------------
"It is the task of all those who work with alphabets to enhance our environment with beautiful lettering. Letters should not merely be a necessary evil which daily offends our eyes. They should not only serve but also delight. This requires a clear, consistent, perfect letter in excellent, well balanced applications."
---Actual reading for my Design class.
Speaking of that, guess what I'm being tested on right now? Leave me a message and wish me luck. >.<
--------------------------
Jane: I hate being alive!....But I love being a drama queen.
Shannon: Coulda fooled me.
--------------------------
Disney causes brain damage.
Speaking of pain, guess what Jane put in my CD player and it wouldn't play?
-------------------------
"Yeah, I like dissenters, so what? Ferrets are dissenters. They take what everyone says about spines and fighting, and go against them."
~Steve, making...logic? Somehow?
------------------------
Shannon: What is your favorite color, and why?
Jesse: My first favorite is green and then it is orange, now excuse me while I slam my head into the door hinge.
~After Jesse lost a game of poker and was forced to speak in rhyme for the rest of the night.
-----------------------
An abridged version of why I'm afraid to go to sleep sometimes:
I went through this virtual reality thing and this girl who hated me was messing with my body, but I saw Steve sneaking around and I said "Steve! You have to go out and save my body!" But he told me to be quiet because he was supposed to be an NPC. I then watched this thing on TV where it was talking about current most popular black comedians, and Bugs Bunny was on there because of his subtle jokes about George Bush...who doesn't wear socks. I then remembered that I've dreamt about Bugs Bunny and George Bush before (which I actually haven't) and then Bugs Bunny proceeded to turn into a little black slave girl with her family on a plantation. Needless to say, I was dazed and bewildered when I woke up.
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"Her letter was badly written. I swear, if that woman really does have a PhD she must have gotten it from...y'know...like....Bonko's school of.....knitting...or something!"
~Jane, about her grandfather's beloved girlfriend
------------------------
"I could make several, inappropriate bible jokes, but I'm going to settle for looking at e-cards"
~Jen
--------------------------
Best sentence ever!
(found in Jane's English book)
"Lastly, to go no further that this supreme place (language being system and the aim of the movement being, romantically, a direct subversion of codes--itself moreover illusory: a code cannot be destryoed, only 'played off'), contributed to the desacrilization of the image of the Author by ceaselessly recommending the abrupt disapointment of expectations of meaning (the famous surrealist 'jolt'), by entrusting the hand with the task of writing as quickly possible what the head itself is unaware of (automatic writing), by accepting the principle and the experience of several people writing together."
---------------------------
"You made me wash off my apple because of pesticides, but you're going to eat Mary's eraser??"
~Dinner conversation in the Fine Arts dorm.
---------------------------
A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said: "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral.... I'm a gynecologist."
And then, that's when the proctologist fainted.
---------------------------
"Anyone up for some Kentucky Fried Gaea?"
~Shannon
I'm here, napping or something, so IM me. ^-^
-----------------------------
"You should just glue some moss over the hole and call it a gill or something."
~Audrey, trying to help with a broken ceramics project
------------------------------
No matter how many times you call her "What's her face", you will always remember the name of every girl that has ever dated any of your boyfriends.
------------------------------
LostBlueHeights: What does the government know, anyway?
DrgnMage13: where you live
------------------------------
"Once again, nose grease is the answer!"
~Prof. Liccardo, on easy answers to scratched negatives
------------------------------
Shannon: Smell these leaves.
Steve: *chokes*
Shannon: What's the matter? They smell nice.
Steve: They're green. I don't like green.
Shannon: Ok....what if I paint them?
Steve: No! Then they're dubious green.
------------------------------
Shannon: "I used some of the prettiest pinks in this part of the picture..."
Jane: "Was that just YOU who said that??"
Shannon: "...I'm drawing guts!"
-----------------------------
Shannon: I found this little hairband on my desk--...
Steve: Hair band?!? Like, Poison??
------------------------------
LostBlueHeights: I was so angry that I poked my fingers through a syrafoam cup on accident, because there were too many people around in the cafeteria
LostBlueHeights: I found that when I'm surrounded by that many people, I get filled with unbridled hatred
LostBlueHeights: like really
LostBlueHeights: I get all agitated and angry and hate-filled, and I considered going back upstairs
Golden Eyes1: ...::is glad she's only one person::
------------------------------
"...My brain itches."
~Mom, while trying to watch Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
--------------------------------
Steve: What's porridge made out of?
Shannon: What?? I dunno...why?
Steve: Cuz that seemed to be a question that you would know and laugh at me for not knowing.
Shannon: Pfft...I have no idea! Maybe it's something like grits, or oatmeal, or hominy or something.
Steve: What's hominy?
Shannon: You don't know what hominy is??
Steve: See?!
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Jane: Teena says I should loosen my printer cord or break my computer so I can call him up and have him come over to fix it.
Shannon: Y'know...I think lonely housewives do that.
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"I think I'm gonna get a boob job and rely on looks to get me through life..."
~ J, after doing something dumb
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"Take your time, school does take a priority over jellyfish."
~A friend thankfully reassuring me that she was temporarily relieving me of my jellyfish duties.
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"Well you know how it goes...y'know when you add A to B...shit happens."
~Joey C's words of wisdom
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"Like a brunette ken doll, but without the anger and tantrum."
~Joey C., talking about who-knows-what
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"Thank you for turning "Amish" into a verb...thank you."
~Shannon to Joey C after hearing how he was Amished.
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What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
....A Roamin' Catholic!
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Joey C: Whoa! Look at that guy! He's so small!
Kevin: Joe...that's a kid.
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Randy: Kill Steve...
Me: With food?
Randy: With Dance!
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"I want to go home...I was on the phone with my husband, and I heard my little daughter in the background say 'oh look, there's a picture of Mommy!...Remember her?"
~Prof. Martin, realizing how much time she spends away from home.
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"What was I just saying?? Ugh, rubbing my kiwis is so distracting."
~Shannon, rubbing her kiwis, obviously
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Mom: The majority of the ladybugs are on your ceiling huddling together to keep warm or something.
Shannon: On my ceiling?? Bunching together??
Mom: Yes. Bunching. They are a herding insect aren't they?
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"Like still-wiggling sticky leather."
~Mary, and her thoughts on stitching up people
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"Ok everybody, here's the plan. We're gonna all get up and head to the shower? Sounds great, right? Now we're all gonna work nicely together...especially you, left calf. I know you're not feeling well, but you're gonna have to keep up with the team. Ok, ready? On the count of three. One...two...shut up legs! Yes, you're going to have to do most of the work, but we're counting on you!"
~Jane, convincing her body to get her to the showers.
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Ca ayoe guess which key o my keyboard doest work aymore? Is't this great? Of course, it *had* to be right before atioal ovel writer's moth. I eed to write 50,000 words of a ovel this ovember. What am I goa do?! My typig souds like it has a cold or somethig. ...Dam it.
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"Now we come to your favorite linguist, Chomsky. ...Actually, I'm your favorite linguist, because you all know what's good for you."
~Professor Birner
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Jane: So, does a guy letting a girl put lipstick on him mean the guy's gay?
Jesse: No...it means he's trying to get laid.
Jane: ....Oh.
And now I know why Halloween is the Olivetian's favorite holiday.
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Tym Artist: lol = laughing on the inside
Tym Artist: rofl = smirk
Tym Artist: ROFL or hahahahahaha = laughing out loud
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Shannon: Man...look at my zip disk box.
Steve: Looks like its been loved.
Shannon: ...More like hated.
Steve: No...I meant the prison kind of love.
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"Aw, c'mon. You know you'd laugh if I got my finger stuck to the door with an industrial-strength magnet."
~Shannon, trying to put Jane in her shoes
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"I just accused six or seven different guys of grabbing my balls!!"
...This is why Mark is not allowed to have multiple energy drinks before going into public anymore.
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Jane: Either that or I can find some other ma-jigger for you.
Shannon: I like ma-jiggers.
Jane: Ma-jigger it is!
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Steve: Ugh, looks like someone was murdered.
Shannon: Gross.
Steve: Probably discrimination against those who have marinara sauce for blood.
~Witnessing the aftermath of a violent food crime in the elevator
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Shannon: I have several hours of matting ahead of me, or if I use the correct art terminology: several hours of "mounting."
Steve: Please do not put the words "mounting" and "Matt" in the same sentence ever again.
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"That was a Mexican hat dance of giggles."
~Steve, using his descriptive vocabulary well
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"You'd think that Mick would start not believing me that I truly am sorry, after having the stapler fall on him from my desk 4 times, while he is on his bean bag chair trying to sleep."
~Mom, after dropping the stapler on the dog, again
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"You don't like milk? ...But...milk makes chocolate milk!"
~Don
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LostBlueHeights: Im shakin my minipalms
Golden Eyes1: hehe...you shouldn't say that too loud...Steve might get jealous
LostBlueHeights: yeah, he wants me to shake *his* minipalm
Golden Eyes1: lol...he'll just have to shake his own minipalm
~Thank you, Psypets. ^-^
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Shannon: Man, moving hurts.
Jane: Yeah, I've heard that it can kill you. Moving, that is.
Shannon: *Laughs*
Jane: No seriously...the majority of people who have died were moving.
I'm at Steve's if anyone needs to call me. I'm hiding.
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"Zeus punished man in another way also, by creating an evil thing, woman, as the price of fire...And wonder took hold of the deathless gods and mortal men when they saw that which was sheer guile, not to be withstood by men. For from her is the deadly race and tribe of women who live amongst mortal men to their great trouble."
-Ovid
Gotta love mythology class....
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"Claws are nails with superpowers."
~Jane
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Why is everyone in college named Dan, Matt, or Brian?
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"He nodded wearily and let his eyes close again, draping a firearm over them lazily."
~A recent NaNanoism of mine, as Desher apparetly sets a rifle across his face. Mmmm, comfy.
(For those of you who don't know, NaNoisms are typoes or poorly written sentences that occur when flying through writing a NaNoWriMo novel. In this case, 'firearm' was definitely supposed to be 'forearm.' >.<)
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LostBlueHeights: I wish I could...like...eat naps
Golden Eyes1: hmm...what would that taste like? o.O?
LostBlueHeights: Doesnt matter. You'd be too rested to care
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"I am madly in love with C.S. Lewis and Weta Workshop, and almost wish I was Mormon so I could marry them both."
~Jen's reaction to seeing Narnia
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"I'm so mad, I'm throwing ocelots!"
-Shannon's reaction to her key being stolen
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"No, I'm right! I just proved that if Steve's a people, then that's an octopus!"
~Shannon, using convoluted logic to prove that a starfish is an octopus
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Shannon: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Steve: If you weren't so cute when I hurt you, it wouldn't happen as often.
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"Paul McCartney has bare feet!"
~One of the guys, dead serious, while at American English
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